Monday, November 08, 2004

Pictures from hell

DISCLAIMER: I have never written something quite like this. I do not in any way mean to ridicule hell or negate the reality of Satan or the seriousness of these issues. Nor do I endorse the theological implications of the plot. It was not written for any other than satirical purposes.

Suppose for a moment that there is an up-and-coming news photographer who is assigned to go and get some behind-the-scenes shots of life in hell. Maybe he will also get an interview with the devil while he is at it. He's is given the red carpet treatment the whole way through—it is, after all, not such a bad place. The Devil is grinning from horn to horn as he gives you the full premium tour of the premise. While the reporter is there, though, the final battle to vanquish the Devil is begun. In the midst of the battle, the reporter is in a coveted spot—the ultimate behind-enemy-lines story is his! He watches as the fight is waged and how easily the once imposing forces of evil are cut down in hordes. He is at once disappointed. This fight is not going last as long as he had hoped. If he is not careful, it might end up being a very small story indeed and that would never do no matter what the real outcome. This has to be a time in history all will remember—no one must forget the sacrifice he made to get here and capture the moment from the other point of view.

He positions his camera. He begins shooting. The demons are all too willing to do what they can to act vicious and alive. Good, the reporter thinks, or someone might get the idea they were lost from the beginning. His photos are sent back and examined for newsworthiness. His editors are ecstatic. What a great picture of the ultimate force of evil, inflicting damage on the forces of good. True the outcome won't match the story, but what does that matter? The photos are run.

The war continues; the people begin to wonder. They thought this would be a decisive fight? This is not what was supposed to happen. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to take the fight to the Devil in the first place. Who got the idea that the Devil could be defeated anyway? He didn't mean any harm. What did he ever do to hurt anyone that wasn't provoked by the real Ruler of the world? Isn't God sovereign? It must be His fault that the Devil went bad in the first place...

Meanwhile, the fight isn't looking so good for the Devil. It is getting hotter than even he imagined and in a desperate move, he seizes the reporter...

Ah, no one will mess with me now, he thinks. This moron thought I wasn't so bad and now he will pay the price if the fight against me continues. There will be such an outcry for his return that the Powers that be will not even think of ignoring my threat to kill him...

...and so the reporter and his captor meet their timely end—
The End.

*Break*

The inspiration for this story can be found at THIS LINK (pictures have since been replaced) and THIS LINK.
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