Sunday, October 03, 2004

Small lessons

It was just ten minutes ago. I was driving home from church later than usual because of some special activities. Beka was in the car with me and everything was hunky-dory I guess. Then it happened.

I will not provide any of the details for obvious reasons. Suffice it to say that the raccoon was a very large and stupid one; there was no missing the thing. Since it happened very fast, I'm having trouble recalling my initial visceral reactions. I think I heard a sort of hallow laugh from myself. Rebekah didn't bother faking anything--just an honest high pitched groan which lasted for the next few hundred feet of pavement.

I hadn't even pulled into our private road, though, when I started to realize just how intense my reaction was becoming. I was truly disturbed by the whole thing. I was becoming a victim of my imagination, and I knew it was not right. True, it was just an animal and I never had a problem making that distinction. It was me which was making me feel this way. At this point I think I'm over it because the whole buzz of the actual experience is gone.

I only bring this up because I like to think I can deal with surprises--emotional surprises too. This was one such surprise and I can at least say that I have learned something from the whole thing. It seems my initial reaction is more constrained. The real thing I should fear is my own deep thoughts which tend to follow. It's a very ironic thing too, because I tend to turn to such thoughts to find objectivity and emotional safe-haven. Isn't it amazing how these little personal security devices of ours will so easily betray us. It serves me right for thinking I was such a level-headed guy in the first place!

Lesson hopefully learned--moving on...
<< Home 4 Comments:
Blogger Jason Frank. said...

If I laugh, it is only because I've been learning that same lesson over and over in the past few months.

Thank God for His glorious Word.

11:33 PM, October 03, 2004  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ditto that Jason. Glad I'm not the only one.

11:45 PM, October 03, 2004  
Blogger Mark R said...

Ditto that Jason. Glad I'm not the only one.

11:45 PM, October 03, 2004  
Blogger Kristi said...

Without fail, God has time and time again taken away (or at least exposed) those very things-pet virtues, little securities etc. that I lean on, or draw comfort from. I know it makes me grow when He does that though. So it is a good thing.

12:02 AM, October 04, 2004  

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