Small lessons

It was just ten minutes ago. I was driving home from church later than usual because of some special activities. Beka was in the car with me and everything was hunky-dory I guess. Then it happened.

I will not provide any of the details for obvious reasons. Suffice it to say that the raccoon was a very large and stupid one; there was no missing the thing. Since it happened very fast, I'm having trouble recalling my initial visceral reactions. I think I heard a sort of hallow laugh from myself. Rebekah didn't bother faking anything--just an honest high pitched groan which lasted for the next few hundred feet of pavement.

I hadn't even pulled into our private road, though, when I started to realize just how intense my reaction was becoming. I was truly disturbed by the whole thing. I was becoming a victim of my imagination, and I knew it was not right. True, it was just an animal and I never had a problem making that distinction. It was me which was making me feel this way. At this point I think I'm over it because the whole buzz of the actual experience is gone.

I only bring this up because I like to think I can deal with surprises--emotional surprises too. This was one such surprise and I can at least say that I have learned something from the whole thing. It seems my initial reaction is more constrained. The real thing I should fear is my own deep thoughts which tend to follow. It's a very ironic thing too, because I tend to turn to such thoughts to find objectivity and emotional safe-haven. Isn't it amazing how these little personal security devices of ours will so easily betray us. It serves me right for thinking I was such a level-headed guy in the first place!

Lesson hopefully learned--moving on...